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thought
someday wheat fields
August 30, 2004
I was laying on my friend's couch, giggling under a blanket... not in my usual mind. It was fucking freezing because he had the windows open. We were on the 7th floor and it was windy, but the view was amazing.
He'd be offended if he knew I was writing about him... or that I'm saying that I'm amazed at how someone can manage to be so self-destructive and still pay the bills on time.
Not too long after we dropped our brains in a bucket, he projectile vomited across the room. I asked him if he was okay, but I also laughed. As he was moving around, cleaning up the puke, more shot out of his mouth. This time it reached my jacket. So I had to get up from the couch.
Oh damn.
The vomit was mostly water. No chunks of anything. No distinct smell. He hadn't eaten all day. Only beer and psychedelics at Coney Island, in the fog and rain with no one else around.
I laughed again... after repeatedly asking if he was okay. Then we sat around talking and listening to music til 6am. Nothing happened but fuzzy things. We just argued. Years of being sad has turned him into this lump of cynical acceptance. I know what this is like. This is me. I just haven't met anybody so deep in it, well, ever.
But like I said, nothing happened between us. I guess it could've. But it would never be as good as it is in my head. So I've always halted his hands.
I miss him though.
He doesn't live here. Good thing that. It's so easy to sink into a hole if someone is showing you the way.
Posted by amy at August 30, 2004 06:38 PM
browsing the internet on a shitty morning in bed i come across your thought page, with the coney island vomit story, hopping from link to link pondering where i'll end up, i find this story that's possibly the best written thing i've seen in ages, cheers, made my morning, awesome sentiment i know how you feel.
"it's so easy to sink into a hole if someone is showing you the way"
Alex, x
Posted by: Alex on August 31, 2004 01:57 AM
Amy --
We don't know each other, but I just wanted to say thanks for the years of great writing. I have enjoyed your work immensely, first when it was on chunk.com and now that it has moved. No real conclusion here, just wanted to say those isolated things before awkwardly signing off. Anyway, best wishes.
Posted by: Eric on September 23, 2004 12:00 PM
Hello, I remember chunk.com and that is why I'm here. The website has been so artistic, and has carried over well. The articles are so interesting, and descriptive. I'm getting old..... Post to you later
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